I found this Harry Potter Joke on a website and liked it a lot. Theres more that I didn't put on here, but this is the part that I especially liked.
Why did the Weasel cross the road?
Somebody tossed a knut.Why did Potter cross the road.
No reason, but someone will write a book about it.
Why did Draco cross the road?
So he could swing his hips at Potter.
Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road?
Draco did.
Why did the Dark Lord cross the road?
Because Potter couldn't stop him.
Why did Death Eaters cross the road?
The Dark Lord ordered it.
Why did Trevor cross the road?
To get away from Longbottom.
Why did Dumbledore cross the road?
He was following the poisoned lemon drops.
Why did Professor Snape stand in the road?
So no one could tell what side he was on.
Why do Slytherins cross the road twice?
Because we are doublecrossers.
How many Purebloods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What's a lightbulb?
How many witches does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the Wizarding World doesn't use lightbulbs.
How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb. One to rotate the room.
How many Muggles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. It is the only thing they are good for.
How many aurors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The Dark Lord already killed the ones with that kind of know-how.
That is so funny. I love it.
ReplyDeleteWell I must say I'm offended by the Slytherin doublecrossing joke but otherwise they're great!!!!! And I saw this joke once...even I have to admit it's funny!!
ReplyDeleteHow many Slytherins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ten. Nine to do it and one to say "With my father's connections at the Ministry it could've been done faster."
That is really funny :)
ReplyDeleteThis one is funny-
ReplyDeleteHow many Voldemorts does it take to light up a wand?
None, now you see thats why he's called the DARK lord.
There also was Rules of Hogwarts and they were really funny, but there were a lot so here are some of the funniest.
House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
I will not lick Trevor.
I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
When I get sent to the headmasters office, I will Not sing 'We're off to see the wizard!'
This one is pretty funny too...
ReplyDeleteHow many Ravenclaws does it take to light up a wand?
Twenty-two Ravnclaws: five running around the library
to find the quickest, most effective manner. Seven to
practice the spell to make sure that it�s safe and
it works. Three to inform the professors of what
they're doing so they can get the credit. Four to
contemplate over whose wand has the best core
material for performing this spell. One to stand by
with a fire extinguisher just in case. One to
actually light the wand and one more to point out how
I spelled "Ravenclaw" wrong...